I'll need a stressball on 11/4 and a stiff drink

OK, scary thought, but just take a moment: what if Obama loses in November?

I'm a cynic by nature, so of course this is a question I would ask, but take a look at the pole numbers out today--I know it's way too early for anything, but if Obama is such a clinch, what the hell is the problem? Here are some the factors I think are at play. And for the record, though it's none of your business, I am voting for Obama and a registered Independent.

Ok, the media has to stop acting like a bunch of horny teenagers at the cool kid's house party. Thanks to them, Obama has surpassed "politician huge" and entered like "Bradgelina twins huge" or "Britney Spears comeback record huge." It's just getting to be way too much, and I fear it's alienating a lot of independent voters out there. They're the ones who need to feel reassured that yeah, Obama's a cool guy, but he's not afraid to tell it like it is, get down and dirty, then have that master plan to get us all out of the mess.

Remember when Barack was the underdog, and Hilary was the over-confident president in waiting? Barack needs to get back to that humbleness--and stop with this crap. I know you have to convince your donors you are the best bet, but why not dwell on why your policies are better than John McCain's? Just totally skip the "odds talk." Nothing gets under my skin more--and that was Hilary's game.

It was great to see Obama go over to the Middle East--but his European visit was a little over the top. So what if the Germans, the French, and the English love Obama? They can't vote for him. And the European opinion obviously has little to no influence on the average American voter (see polling data above.) Lest us not forgot the infamous John Kerry "looks French" slam.

And there is the persistent matter of race. I hope it's not that big an issue, but it can't be overlooked. I just don't trust the older generation, and the blue collars over looking it.

So seriously, will there be riots if Obama loses? Will there be allegations of voter fraud? Weeks of recounts? Will Obama retire from politics all together? I mean, can he just go back to being a Senator? And what about the democratic party--will they be completely fractured? My head is spinning. Here's to November 4th--may we all survive it.

Unnecessary but necessary expense

Are these ugly, so ugly they're hot, or so ugly their stupid and will make me look like a hipster clown? I can't decide but I really want them. Damn this economy--I wish I could drop $150 for a pair of sunglasses I don't need without feeling like an ignorant fool.

Slob(s) of the Week

"Oh, hey, sorry to interrupt you guys--nice tan by the way--but I just have to snap a few pictures for our newspaper, La Repubblica. I think you may be in my shot--I hope you don't mind. I didn't think anyone would be on the beach because of the terrible turn of events. What's going on? You guys didn't see all the commotion over the past hour? The life guards, the children screaming? You were sitting here the whole time, right? Well anyway, four little Roma girls went swimming in the ocean, and unfortunately 2 of the girls drowned. Here they are right in front of you--and in fact here come the guys with their wooden coffins. It's terrible---wait, are you laughing? Oh, coughing. I thought you were one of those Italians that dislike the Roma, or you know, gypsies. Well, anyway, try to have a good rest of the day."  So for your complete lack of compassion that was unfortunately captured on film, you nameless Italian sunbathers have been named the Slobs of the Week.  

America's Next Top Dog's Got Talent Idol

Forgive me for the title of this post--but seriously, summer + TV - cable = way too many reality show competitions to keep track of. I hate the singing, the dancing, the sword swallowing, and the weird Big Brother hook-ups that have come to define summer TV programming. But just when I was about to reach for my half read Vanity Fair I stumbled upon the second episode of Greatest American Dog, and immediately I was hooked. This is my kind of reality show, and frankly, as a proud owner of a brilliant black pug named Grover (featured above), I should BE ON this show.

Anyway, the show is great, the dogs are adorable and surprisingly smart, and the owners are complete characters as anyone that obsessed with their dog is expected to be. Already in the second episode, alliances are forming, everyone seems annoyed at the guy in a toupee and his yippy jack russell, and a dog even got seriously injured. That had me in tears and hugging poor Grover who was desperately trying to break free of my smothering and teary grasp. The injured dog was Star (below), and just watching as her owner carried her like a baby, crying his eyes out, blood from her injured ear soaking his sweatshirt was almost too much to bear. But Star turned out to be fine--and even went on to wow the judges. They are my pick to win the whole thing (though the young guy and his boxer may take it--whatever.) The only drawback to this show is the corny judges who basically struggle to find things wrong with the dogs--but who cares. This is fun for the whole family, pets included, so I definitely give this show a high five.

I See You

I realize that there could be a tad more old fashioned judging over here at Silently Judging, so I'm taking it back to beginning with a little bit of doing what we do best here with the first installment of "I See You." Enjoy.

Wednesday night, I'm enjoying a beverage with a bunch of friends in the backyard of a bar near Irving Place. Backyards at bars means smoking, and the table next to us was full of folks indulging in the habit. I usually can't take it, but the wind was blowing the other way, so I was cool. I noticed, in particular, one of the smokers, a brunette hipster girl, and her weirdly long cigarette. It just looked so out of place with her "look" and her rugged, hipster male friends sucking on "normal" cigarettes. Then I spotted it, and my suspicions were confirmed. On the table in front of her was the box of Capri cigarettes, looking like a box of Tampax or Summer's Eve just hanging out. Who the hell smokes Capri Cigarettes besides old ladies in the bathrooms of hair salons? Where do you even buy Capris? Were they all out of Mistys? Man, Capris make cloves look badass. I felt like laughing at her, and I guess, in my way, I am.

Excuse me, may I drill here?

Man, how freaking pointless is Prez Bush's decision to lift the off-shore drilling ban? He's such a lame duck, and knows it. Not only would off-shore drilling be an eco-nightmare, there isn't enough oil out there to make a shred of difference anytime soon, and hopefully the Dems will never approve this ludacricy. So we'd invest all this time and money for two hundred barrels of oil that wouldn't change anything until 2030 when like everything will be solar powered or electric, or bio-fueled powered anyway (fingers-crossed.)

And speaking of our hopefully solar-, wind-, bio-fuel-, electric-powered future--Bush is missing a huge opportunity here to make a statement to the world. Like,"Yep, we are running out of oil, and look, it's breaking the backs of Americans. So starting today, I want to begin talks with all the big energy, engineering, and car companies, oh, and Boone Pickens, and see if we can begin putting in motion a plan to solve our energy crisis with oil taken out of the equation. It may even create some much needed jobs. And in the mean time, we need to start conserving and cutting back. 'Cause, y'all, I ain't gonna lie, there ain't no more oil out there." And then, just maybe, because the USofA decided to take the first step to break the oil addiction, other nations would follow, like China and India.

You knew the Goreical would weigh in at some point, so I am linking to his thoughts on breaking our oil addiction (foreign and otherwise).

And if you are interested in knowing the history behind the image I provide above, click here--it's called "learning from past mistakes."

Sensitivity Level: High

I heard about the Barry Blitt New Yorker cover yesterday on NPR's Morning Edition. I kind of shrugged and thought if the New Yorker put it on the cover, it couldn't be that in poor taste. It's called satire people, come on. Then I looked it up on the web--it didn't take much searching as EVERY news agency was running the cover. First reaction: oh my god and when is Barack Obama going to reprimand, condemn, disavow, etc the New Yorker? That afternoon in fact, via a spokesperson, along with John McCain (good call.) Then, around 8:30 pm, I picked my own New Yorker from the mailbox. Second reaction: oh my god look at Michele Obama's evil eyes, the flag burning in the fireplace, and Osama above the mantle. Third reaction: Who won the caption contest?

Overall, the cover was a little too Fox News for my taste. Of course I get the "satire", but come on, there are people out there (my parents) who actually think Barack is a flag burning, Osama loving, muslim, and are scared of Michele because she is a strong African American woman. I wish it were Wednesday so I could see what Maureen Dowd thinks of the matter.

My opinion is the cover didn't quite hit the right note, and is poking fun at things that frankly aren't that funny because people believe these things to be true (again, my parents.) Sensitivity levels about race are higher than ever in America, and this cover succeeded in magnifying them. We are on the verge of having a black president, and it's stirring up a lot of weirdness over race. Barack not only has to deal with being black (he's half white too people), but also untrue accusations that he is a Muslim which of course would make him a terrorist, which then leads him hate to America--a quadruple whammy. And then Jesse Jackson threatened to cut his nuts off. So at this point, nothing would shock me.

Frankly, I can't wait until my generation (generation y?) is running this country. We grew up with the Cosby Show, rap music, black sports stars (Bo Jackson, Michael Jordan, etc), sexiest man alive: Denzel Washington, and on and on--we are so over race being an issue.

And before I go, I just wanted to make mention of poor Barry Blitt. I googled him last night and found his sad little webpage, which basically consists of his email address and a tease "coming summer 2007." Can you imagine how much hate email he is getting right now? Barry, time for a new email address, and um, did you forget you started a website? Now might be a good time to get that thing going--you know, when you are basically THE news story. Just a suggestion.